http://www.wfmynews2.com/article/news/local/real-talk-on-overdoses-losing-a-loved-one/83-528369011
WFMY
In North Carolina, the latest research shows at least 3 people die of an overdose every day. The body count from the epidemic is only getting higher.
Author: Erica Stapleton
WFMY News 2 has been digging into the rise of drug overdoses in the Triad. It’s a problem that’s plagued so many families. Here are some of their stories.
Griffin Kelton’s Story, told by his mother Sallie Kelton:
Sallie’s son Griffin Kelton fatally overdosed on heroin in May 2015, while he was away at Queens College in Charlotte. He was a son, a brother and a friend. He was 20-years-old.
“This is all that’s left of my son,” she tells. “My 260-pound athletic, lacrosse playing son is in a box.”
Griffin’s ashes are in a columbarium outside the family’s church in Greensboro.
“He never meant to kill himself,” she explains. “He never meant to do this to us, to his family.”
She says there’s no such thing as closure when it comes to losing a child, but she has found new purpose in telling Griffin’s story.
“Our message is tell somebody. Get help. Don’t think that you’re a narc and that you’re a snitch. You’re not. You could save your friend’s life. You could save your dad’s life. Don’t just sit back and let it happen.”
Tyler Williams’ Story, told by his sister Caroline Garner:
Tyler Williams fatally overdosed on heroin in February 2017 at his parents home in Greensboro. His sister Caroline says a lot of that day is a blur, but the noises resonate with her.
“The way my heels sounded going down the hallway, back to Tyler’s bedroom where he was laying, I could hear that when I lay down in bed,” she explains. “I can hear the stretcher clicking from when they put it up with Tyler’s body on it. I can hear my dad’s forehead hitting the front door when they’re pulling him out of the driveway. ‘It’s bad, it’s bad,’ that’s what my dad kept saying.”
Tyler was a son, a brother and a father of two young boys. He was 27-years-old when he died.
“If we don’t talk about it and we don’t keep Tyler alive, those little boys won’t know,” Caroline tells. “If I don’t hang his jacket that he wore the night before at a chair on my wedding, will he really be there? I guess it’s the talking about it that makes us feel like he’s still here.”
Madison Marini’s Story, told by her mother Claudia Marini:
Madison “Maddie” Marini fatally overdosed on heroin in December 2016. She was working at a Taco Bell in King when it happened. Her mother Claudia had gotten calls about overdoses before, but this one was different. The last time she saw her daughter alive was Christmas.
“She was complaining that night because her cheeks were chunky and she was gaining weigh and we were ecstatic because we knew that when she was gaining weight she wasn’t using,” Claudia shares.
But the addiction grabbed her back. Claudia says Madison tried to seek treatment, but had been turned away.
“I believe she paid the biggest sacrifice with her life to save hundreds and millions,” says Claudia who now shares her daughter’s story to try and encourage others to seek help.
Vanessa Abbott’s Story, told by her father Randy Abbott:
Vanessa Abbott fatally overdosed on heroin in January 2015. She was a daughter and sister who loved the world and all living creatures in it.
Vanessa’s father Randy Abbott says an overdose a few years before landed her in the hospital.
“After looking at the pictures of her on life support, after knowing that she technically died she still had trouble beating it,” Randy says.
Vanessa was working to get clean. Two days before she would die, she texted her father.
“On my phone I have the last text message from her. It says ‘Dad, don’t worry about me. I’m with good, clean people that make me feel great about life.’
From what Randy and his family could piece together, Vanessa was seeing a new guy who thought it would be a cool date night to try heroin together. Randy says her best friend gave her the drugs.
Every year on the anniversary of her death, his family takes a trip to reflect on her memory. It’s a story he knows he needs to tell.
“I tell Vanessa’s story because I want to see people in recovery,” he says.
“It kind of crosses all socio- and economic boundaries, so it’s not just one class of people that seem to be affected,” explains Deana Kelly, a funeral director at Cumby Family Funeral Service in High Point.
Kelly says they do several services each month for overdose victims. Part of her job is working ot console loved ones. They even have a therapy dog to try and help ease the pain. But with this kind of death, there’s something that seems so glaringly obvious.
“To me it seems like it could be prevented,” Kelly explains.
STIGMA
“We begged her to go to a long-term recovery for treatment, but because of the stigma and the embarrassment, she just wouldn’t do it,” Randy says of his daughter Vanessa.
She wasn’t the only one with that sentiment. Stigma keeps people quiet, afraid to seek help. Claudia says she kept her daughter’s addiction quiet for a long time.
“As somebody in education, I knew they’d look at me,” Claudia says. “Here I am educating people’s children and I couldn’t take care of my own. But that’s just not how it is.That’s got to change.”
“The one thing I do this the most for is to fight the stigma,” Randy adds. “Stigma kept her out of recovery. It does that a lot. That’s what I want to se come to an end. That’s when the trends will stop.”
TREATMENT
Treatment options don’t match the needs of the rising number of people suffering from addiction who need help.
“We all did our best to help him.” Caroline says, referring to her brother. “We carried him to the hospitals to get detoxed. We encouraged him. I would be lying to say that there wasn’t periods of times that we were frustrated with him, we were angry with him.”
In hindsight, she knew Tyler was trying his hardest to get clean.
“Ultimately heroin had him by the neck and it was not going to let go,” Caroline says, referring to her brother Tyler.
Caroline and the others say addiction needs to seriously be treated like a disease. She used to work at the ER, and says they would often get turned away.
“I would see these addicts who are at the bottom of their bottom who have swallowed their pride and checked into the ER to ask for help,” she explains. ” And they’re laying in beds in the hallway for 48, 72 hours to be told that there are no beds open.”
Claudia was with her daughter once when she was turned away from treatment because she didn’t have insurance. It was the first time she really saw her daughter was trying to get help.
“She tried to explain to me what it was like to be addicted,” Claudia tells. “And she would always say ‘Do you think I would choose this life? Do you think I like this life?'”
For treatment, you need time, you need money, you need a place to do it. Many treatment centers around the Triad have waitlists. The longterm goal in North Carolina is to get more treatment facilities open, but that process will take time.
EDUCATION
Sallie, Claudia, Caroline and Randy are all very involved in local organizations that work to fight addiction and help people get the help they need. Sallie works with Caring Services in High Point. Randy works with C.U.R.E Triad. Claudia and Caroline are both board members at Phoenix Rising. All are involved with other groups and programming throughout the Triad, too. When it comes to education, they all agree on one thing.
“It should start in middle school, high school, college,” Sallie says. “People need to be aware and they need to try and see the signs of those that they love.”
As advocates in the community, they’re seeing kids of all ages get exposed to drugs. Kids will raid medicine cabinets and share with friends, not fully understanding the lifelong or life-ending ramifications. Randy recently did a talk with middle-schoolers and their parents.
“I asked them, ‘How many of you can walk down the halls at school and have whatever?’ And every child in that room raised their hand. You could see the faces of some of the parents were shocked.”
He and the others want he realities of addiction and overdoses to start early on in education. The hope is a year-round course that focuses on more than just textbook readings.
“I’m talking about a real life class where they get to see a body bag,” Claudia says. “They get to see a mom and a sister and a brother devastated and what life is like and I think that that’s the stuff they don’t typically see.”
Because something like that could resonate with someone who listens.
“In today’s society, every child needs to be watched to look for signs and symptoms,” Sallie says. “Doesn’t have to be your child. It could be your husband, it could be your sibling. It could be your grandmother, your parent.”
CRACKING DOWN
North Carolina Attorney General Josh Stein will tell you the fight against addiction is a three-pronged approach. You need to focus on education, treatment and enforcement. We hear time and time again you can’t arrest your way out of the problem, but some courts are trying new tactics. Caroline knows who her brother’s dealer is, but seeks more justice.
“He dealt my brother’s death,” she explains. “I don’t want revenge by any means but I would love my day in court to look him in the eyes and tell him what he took away from me. And I’ll never get that. That’s what’s frustrating.”
Caroline’s brother died in Guilford County. When asked about pressing charges against dealers, she says investigators in her brother’s case told her that the county ‘wasn’t ready.’ District attornies in counties like Davidson and Forsyth have brought a handful of cases to court charging drug dealers in overdose deaths, but overall it’s a trend that’s just getting started.
Randy adds the law can work in favor of those who need help. He says not enough people understand the Good Samaratin Law, meaning in short that if you call for help after someone’s overdosed, you won’t get in trouble with the law.
“The people my daughter was with panicked,” he explains. “They did not dial 911. Had they done that, she may have had another opportunity. Had they had Narcan with them, she may have had another opportunity.”
Narcan is something most law enforcement officers are equipped with across the state and it’s something that can be picked up at a drug store. In 2017 in North Carolina, the number of people saved by Narcan, surpassed the number of people who died from overdoses.
For more resources, click the links below:
SAMHSA’s National Helpline
The SAMHSA’s National Helpline is free, confidential, 24/7, available 365 days a year for treatment referral and information services.
Call 1-800-662-HELP (4357) or visit the online treatment locators.
National Council On Alcoholism And Drug Dependence
24 hour hotline 1-800-622-2255
More Details: National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence
211 Drug Recovery Addiction Hotline
If you or someone you know has symptoms of drug addiction dial 2-1-1 from any cell phone or landline for help. This is a confidential call and you will be connected with an organization that specializes in recovery.
Another number to call 866-401-6342 is a toll free number that is available should your service provider be unable to connect to 2-1-1.
More Details: United Way Substance Abuse Addiction Services
Triad Drug Recovery Addiction Services
Call the Alcohol and Drug Services 1-855-801-9817
Alcohol And Drug Resources & Forms
Opioid Treatment Program List NC
Triad/NC List Drug Substance Abuse Facilities In NC
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